“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
is attributed to Teddy Roosevelt. Whether he said it or someone else did, it is absolutely true. We all are looking for joy, always. It is one of the Fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22- “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”). I find it interesting that joy is something we are all searching for. It was actually my word of the year for last year, I wanted to be more joyful.
Why do we have such a hard time finding it? Why do we have a hard time being joyful? I honestly believe comparison plays a big role, a bigger role than we think, in why we can’t always find the joy we are looking for. Think about it. If you are constantly comparing your life to others, noticing why they have things you don’t or why it seems like they do things better than you do, how can you possibly find the joy you are looking for in what you have? (and when I am saying you, I am also meaning me of course). We are bombarded with people’s ‘perfect lives’ on facebook, instagram, twitter, etc. It is hard to be joyful with what we have. The funny thing about it is the people you see as the perfect ones are probably having just as much trouble finding joy as you are because of what they see.
Comparison is really a trap. It makes us unable to see clearly all the blessings that God has given us in our lives and all of the fullness we have in it. Instead we are looking at everything that everyone else has. Comparing ourselves only causes us to be upset or not happy, and therefore not have joy. We cannot be joyful and envious at the same time, they don’t go hand in hand. Joy is a Fruit of the Spirit and Envy is a sin.
Galatians 6:4-5- “Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.” (NIV)
Just because we look at someone else and see what they have doesn’t mean God is not giving to us abundantly. We need to trust Him that He knows what is best for us and gives us what we need. and He does. We think because our life doesn’t always look how we want it to look then we are failing, but we aren’t. We will never find joy or contentment in comparing our lives to someone else’s, especially when we can never know the 100% truth of their life. What about the saying, “The grass isn’t always green on the other side of the fence?” I am pretty sure people look at our lives and think what we think of theirs.
So how can we go about being joyful and content with what we have? It isn’t going to happen because your circumstances change. It is going to happen because your thoughts and your heart change.
1 Timothy 6:6-7- “But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it.”
What is going to happen once you get what you think you want? What you think will make you joyful? If your heart hasn’t changed you will just want more. If we can’t be content with where God has us and what God has us with now, we are not going to be content with more. Our contentment and our happiness is not dependent upon our circumstances but is dependent upon our trust in the Lord. The main thing we can do is choose to be joyful, choose to be happy, no matter what the circumstances. It will take effort, and it won’t always be fun but you’ll find that the more you choose joy, the more you are joy. Contentment is something you have to learn. You have to stop comparing. I want to show the Lord I am joyful with what He has given me now, and if He gives me nothing else, I will still choose Joy because of what He has done for me. That is how we are to choose joy.
Another thing you can do is start focusing on the blessings that God has placed in your life. I have started doing #100happydays on instagram. The concept is simple, you take a picture each day of something that makes you happy. By the end of the happy days you will have 100 pictures of happiness for you to look at.
And probably the best thing you can do? Pray. Pray for contentment in what you have, pray for God to help you to stop comparing your life to others, help for you to see the joy that you have in your life. Help you to CHOOSE JOY in all circumstances.